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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in tar's InsaneJournal:

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    Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
    9:25 pm
    I don't believe I am going to say this. . . but I am about to give up on line role playing games. I am tired of looking for those typical games now. I got tired of it I guess. I had been spending my energy on Acting now and I am moving over to that. All my years of role playing since 1988 all going to be my by gone days. I find acting much more pleasurable, getting paid and working my way up is fun. It has more benefit as creativity and being an actor. Its more fullfilling my spirit.
    Thursday, August 21st, 2008
    5:40 am
    A sign told me just walk away and give up. Time for bigger things.
    Tuesday, August 19th, 2008
    9:48 pm
    I will be cutting down my role playing on line. Acting and Church are getting to demanding.
    Thursday, August 7th, 2008
    5:58 pm
    I became attach to a.roplanes and helicopter because I help to make parts
    Thursday, July 31st, 2008
    5:30 pm
    andatory Questions


    1. What about you is heroic?
    2. What about you is social? What do you like about people?
    3. Of what benefit could you be to the current group?
    4. Why would you choose to join the current group?
    5. Invent an adventure/plot that your character would actively undertake (as opposed to just tagging along)?


    Personal Questions


    1. What is your real, birth name? What name do you use?
    2. Do you have a nickname? What is it, and where did you get it?
    3. What do you look like? (Include height, weight, hair, eyes, skin, apparent age, and distinguishing features)
    4. How do you dress most of the time?
    5. How do you "dress up?"
    6. How do you "dress down?"
    7. What do you wear when you go to sleep?
    8. Do you wear any jewelry?
    9. In your opinion, what is your best feature?
    10. What's your real birth date?
    11. Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.?
    12. Do you own a car? Describe it.
    13. What is your most prized mundane possession? Why do you value it so much?
    14. What one word best describes you?


    Familial Questions


    1. What was your family like?
    2. Who was your father, and what was he like?
    3. Who was your mother, and what was she like?
    4. What was your parents marriage like? Were they married? Did they remain married?
    5. What were your siblings names? What were they like?
    6. What's the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you? What's the worst thing you've done to one of your siblings?
    7. When's the last time you saw any member of your family? Where are they now?
    8. Did you ever meet any other family members? Who were they? What did you think of them?


    Childhood Questions


    1. What is your first memory?
    2. What was your favorite toy?
    3. What was your favorite game?
    4. Any non-family member adults stick out in your mind? Who were they, and how did you know them? Why do they stick out?
    5. Who was your best friend when you were growing up?
    6. What is your fondest, childhood memory?
    7. What is your worst childhood memory?


    Adolescent Questions


    1. How old were you when you went on your first date?
    2. It is common for one's view of authority to develop in their adolescent years. What is your view of authority, and what event most affected it?
    3. What were you like in high school? What "clique" did you best fit in with?
    4. What were your high school goals?
    5. Who was your idol when you were growing up? Who did you first fantasize about in your life?
    6. What is your favorite memory from adolescence?
    7. What is your worst memory from adolescence?


    Occupational Questions


    1. Do you have a job? What is it? Do you like it? If no job, where does your money come from?
    2. What is your boss or employer like? (Or publisher, or agent, or whatever.)
    3. What are your co-workers like? Do you get along with them? Any in particular? Which ones don't you get along with?
    4. What is something you had to learn that you hated?
    5. Do you tend to save or spend your money? Why?


    Likes & Dislikes Questions


    1. What hobbies do you have?
    2. Who is your closest mundane friend? Describe them and how you relate to them.
    3. Who is your worst mundane enemy? Describe them and why you don't get along.
    4. What bands do you like? Do you even pay attention?
    5. What tape or CD hasn't left your player since your purchased it? Why?
    6. What song is "your song?" Why?
    7. What's been your favorite movie of all time?
    8. Read any good books? What were they?
    9. What do you watch on the Television?
    10. When it comes to mundane politics, do you care? If so, which way do you tend to vote? If not, why don't you care?
    11. What type of places do you hang out in with your mundane friends?
    12. What type of places do you hang out in with your normal friends?
    13. What annoys you more than anything else?
    14. What would be the perfect gift for you?
    15. What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
    16. What time of day is your favorite?
    17. What kind of weather is your favorite?
    18. What is your favorite food? What is your least favorite food?
    19. What is your favorite drink? (Coffee, Coke, Juice, Beer, Wine, etc.)
    20. What's your favorite animal? Why?
    21. Do you have any pets? Do you want any pets? What kind?
    22. What do you find most relaxing? (Not as in stress relief, but as something that actually calms you down.)
    23. What habit that others have annoys you most?
    24. What kind of things embarrass you? Why?
    25. What don't you like about yourself?
    26. How would you like to look?


    Sex & Intimacy Questions


    1. Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Why?
    2. Who was the first person you had sex with? When did it happen? What was it like? How well did it go?
    3. Have you ever had a same-sex experience? Who with, what was it like, and how did it go?
    4. What is your deepest, most well-hidden sexual fantasy? Would you ever try it?
    5. What was the wildest thing you've ever done, sexually? Who was it with and when did it happen?
    6. Is there any sexual activity that you enjoy and/or practice regularly that can be considered non-standard? (Bondage, Fantasy Play, etc.) Why do you like it?
    7. Is there any sexual activity that you will not, under any circumstances, do?
    8. Do you currently have a lover? What is their name, and what is your relationship like? What are they like? Why are you attracted to them?
    9. What is the perfect romantic date?
    10. Describe the perfect romantic partner for you.
    11. Do you ever want to get married and have children? When do you see this happening?
    12. What is more important - sex or intimacy? Why?
    13. What was your most recent relationship like? Who was it with? (Does not need to be sexual, merely romantic.)
    14. What's the worst thing you've done to someone you loved?


    Drug & Alcohol Questions


    1. How old were you when you first got drunk? What was the experience like?
    Did anything good come out of it? Did anything bad come out of it?
    2. Do you drink on any kind of regular basis?
    3. What kind of alcohol do you prefer?
    4. Have you ever tried any other kind of "mood altering" substance? Which one(s)? What did you think of each?
    5. What do you think of drugs and alcohol? Are there any people should not do? Why or why not?


    Morality Questions


    1. What one act in your past are you most ashamed of? What one act in your past are you most proud of?
    2. Have you ever been in an argument before? Over what, with who, and who won?
    3. Have you ever been in a physical fight before? Over what, with who, and who won?
    4. What do you feel most strongly about?
    5. What do you pretend to feel strongly about, just to impress people?
    6. What trait do you find most admirable, and how often do you find it?
    7. Is there anything you think should not be incorporated into the media or art (sex, violence, greed, etc.,)? If so, what and why, and if not, why not?
    8. Do you have any feelings in general that you are disturbed by? What are they? Why do they disturb you?
    9. What is your religious view of things? What religion, if any, do you call your own?
    10. Do you think the future is hopeful? Why?
    11. Is an ounce of prevention really worth a pound of cure? Which is more valuable? Why do you feel this way?
    12. What's the worst thing that can be done to another person? Why?
    13. What's the worst thing you could actually do to someone you hated?
    14. Are you a better leader or follower? Why do you think that? If you think the whole leader-follower archetype is a crock of shit, say so, and explain why?
    15. What is your responsibility to the world, if any? Why do you think that?
    16. Do you think redemption is possible? If so, can anyone be redeemed, or are there only certain circumstances that can be? If not, why do you think nothing can redeem itself?
    17. Is it okay for you to cry? When was the last time you cried?
    18. What do you think is wrong with MOST people, overall?


    Post-Supernatural Awareness Questions


    1. When did you go through whatever made you supernatural? What was it like (in your opinion)?
    2. What do you think now of being supernatural? Is it cool, or have you been screwed?
    3. Do you have a mentor? Who are they? How did you become their student?
    4. Do you have any magical items? Where did you get them?
    5. What do you think of the other denizens of the World of Darkness? Why for each? (If you haven't met something, do you think it exists, and if it does, is that bad or good?)
    6. Think of a major event that happened during your training/initiation. What was it?
    7. What is something you had to learn during your training that you hated? Why did you hate it?


    Miscellaneous Questions



    1. What is the thing that has frightened you most? Do you think there is anything out there that's scarier than that? What do you think that would be?
    2. Has anyone or anything you've ever cared about died? How did you feel about it? What happened?
    3. What was the worst injury you've ever received? How did it happen?
    4. How ticklish are you? Where are you ticklish?
    5. What is your current long term goal?
    6. What is your current short term goal?
    7. Do you have any bad habits? If so, what are they, and do you plan to get rid of them?
    8. If you were a mundane person, what would you do with your life? What occupation would you want, and how would you spend all your time?
    9. What time period do you wish you had lived in? Why? (Looking at this as an attempt to change history doesn't count.) What appeals to you about this era?
    10. How private of a person are you? Why?
    11. If you were to gain an obscenely large sum of money (via an inhertiance, a lawsuit, a lottery, or anything else) what would you do with it?
    12. What would you wish for if you found a genie?
    13. What do you do when you are bored?
    14. What is the most frightening potential handicap or disfigurement you can conceive of? What makes it so frightening?

    This 100 Character Devolpment Questions essay test was developed by my friend Rich Taylor. He originally made the questions for his roleplaying games in the World of Darkness, but the questions can be used for character development of all kinds. He just joined Gather- you can find him over at unkyrich if you want to friend him and tell him how sweet these questions really are.
    Sunday, July 27th, 2008
    4:56 pm
    Saturday, June 28th, 2008
    3:07 pm
    Check [info]drwho

    And

    Check [info]i_am_a_doctor

    and

    Check [info]i_am_a_timelord
    3:04 pm
    I can't see David Tennant as I wanted too. I have to bid my tickets on Ebay. The money WILL go towards my acting and ACCORD 2009.

    It stinks!

    I think God had planned this on. He has a great plan for me.
    Monday, June 16th, 2008
    1:05 am
    I got two compliments on Ten today. I want awards for playing him. LOL
    Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
    5:57 pm
    Got second interview with a Casting Director this Saturday 1:45 pm. I be there fifteen minutes early flat or early. I got his name. I will proceed with caution. I am not wanting to be bait because this is after all near the rebate from Government. So, if I smell a scam I will run! They didn't say anything me about money yet. I hope this is true not a scam. If they mention me paying I will say something I got a acting job waiting for me etc.
    Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
    9:40 pm
    Acting 2
    Got scene memorize as plan. Memorize with thought. I believe I got it all blocked correctly.

    The beginning is stopping me. I need to ground the before and the beginning.

    Maybe if I think the text out and practice moving as if I am talking but I don't talk. Try that and ground that in. (Need to work on the handicap of a wounded low back.)

    Than go back piece back together and see the end result.

    I got the colours in fine. I just not satisfy.

    Need to work on speech.

    Timing I believe is right. I need to allow a wee bit more time.

    Hand gesture had worked and I was pleased with that effect.

    Imagination is there. I got myself believing but still I feel it need to be worked on.

    I want perfection. I do know this monologue is very advance but I like to work on it.

    I want to feel very comfortable and see what I get as result from my coach May 22 to see what she says.

    I really want to go for it. Its hard but I love it. I love pushing myself beyond and above. I know I can make it. I just want it to be good and use this and that in the process. More I do it. More I want to do it. I am very thirsty here. I want jobs to see my work and experience. Its fun! God this is what you want me to do and I am on it BOSS!

    More I practice more automatic things will become. Like when you learn a new job. When I started writing how I had hard time picking it up and now its easy. That's the same what I need to do with acting. I need to sharpen my tools, beware they are there and pull them and use them as I am pulling tools out of a tool box.

    So much to work on but it pays off. It really does.

    And I had gone back working at the gym. I felt it. Never take time off. I felt so out of shape yesterday. I used to be in real good shape and when I was in shape I didn't realize I how good of a shape I was. Got to add that to my acting knowledge. Everything in life is for God and acting.

    [I am mentally ready for all the No and rejects for the future. Its not about me. Its really what they need. Its like dating. Its life. Take a few punches and just press on and be strong because I know God is with me on this.)
    Sunday, May 4th, 2008
    2:34 pm
    Home Acting Exercise:

    I had decided to do search for the casket at home. The trick was my mom was home and I had to find ‘this’ casket. I had imagine the casket was nothing more a small shoe box that was painted white and it had belonged the little girl who live with my Mistress.

    I searched my room looking for the box. I had to go look through the house. I had tried to find it because I will be in big trouble. My mom asked me what I was doing. I said, I was looking for a something. Than she questioned me what I was looking for. I said, a small box like a size of a huge shoe box.

    Well, my mom questioned me more. What is in the box? I said nothing because I don’t want her to know that there was a dead cat in the box. I didn’t want the other worker (my mom) to know what I was doing for I fear she will tell my mistress. I don’t want to be beaten.

    (Meanwhile I am writing this I have the urge still to go look for this box that I imagined in my head. Very powerful stuff this)

    So, I searched around the house while my mom giving me a hard time because she had no idea what I was doing or looking for. I looked around and I couldn’t find it. So, I recall in the monologue a man comes around. So, what I did create the post man who comes to our house to be that man. That’s how I figure the other man is. (Is that powerful or what)

    This was my preparation before the Monologue. This was BEFORE and worked out more fine details in the monologue. It helped to flesh it more. I loved it.

    And I tell you I feel the nag I have to find that box still.

    This exercise I recall from something but I bumped it up with my own stuff.
    Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
    11:08 pm
    Good news and bad news!

    Bad news- there suckers out their who are easy picked by the con-men.

    Good news- I am not one of them. Wisdom is my light to catch the con men in the dark.

    The REAL good news I found a great actor's workshop to join that will help me greatly. To make it much better and it gets better. Head shots are very cheap there.

    And if I do things correctly by 2010 I will have my SAG card! But, I don't know what will happen in 2010 but I know acting is going to be it.

    Funny, I feel an urge to go Europe.

    By the way this actor's workshop will be the SECOND biggest name person on my resume...I am so proud of my work
    Monday, April 28th, 2008
    9:56 pm
    Saturday night- Danced away in Orlando at Downtown Disney. Had a blast!

    Sunday Night- Had saw Black 47 got a free tee shirt for my cheap shot Irish step dancing. People compliment me for the dancing. Its the music make them dance.

    Monday night- Had gone for audition. Second one in ages. I did good projection, good read, a very cold one that is and I did use choice of colours too. I think I even surprise the director.

    So, yea, busy busy as a bee.

    Tuesday- Another audtion

    Wednesday- Church

    Thursday- Acting stuff

    Friday- Dine with friends and movie (Iron man)

    Saturday- Work over time, Church two times.

    Sunday---might skip Church and sleep in. LOL
    Sunday, April 27th, 2008
    6:32 pm
    New Rules


    1. Never join a game where a Mod makes promises to start something. Its forgiven for once but when its done three times. To mods: Don't make promises you can't make.

    2. Never put players on hold more than three weeks. Over that its pushing it the players.

    3. Insanejournal is a place for gaming not looking for attention.

    4. Don't try to manipulate other people into stuff. If they change their mind so be it.

    5. NEVER say stuff about players or other mods. Especially never use their names. Keep it simple and leave as that. Have loyal to your players and mods. You never know when you meet again in the future. A player/mod might say something about a person who wants to join a game. Player/mod say something bad about that person because they said something about them when they were asked or when they left. Never talk behind people BACKS!

    6. At times EVERYONE has to accept the fact you will deal with difficult people. Like in life just deal with it. Don't pine or complain. Deal with it because every crowd there is ALWAYS someone you won't like.

    7. For players who leave games its not great to complain about a mod or player when that person is trying to get in another game. People can change. They might be a bad mod but does that make them a bad player? No! They might be a bad mod but how do you know they are not a great PLAYER?!?

    8. When you get burn by a person. Accept it. Drop it. Shove it in the past. Because WE ARE NOT HERE TO PLEASE OURSELVES OR OTHERS! You can't please everyone. Try to please a small few people if you must. But have fun!

    9. Each writer and player write their character AS Cannon. But did you know what they do is ADD to the character? Its like Actors who ADD their character to a character. Why is Hamlet showed many times? Because its seem to be a bit different? Who makes the character more interesting? The ACTOR! Its been shown over a million times! Think on it!

    10. Try to be PATIENT.

    11. People seem to see things their way and fail to get the other side of the story.

    Nuff said.

    By the way, this was a complaint to a game and a mod. Did you notice any mention of names?
    Friday, April 25th, 2008
    8:44 pm
    Everyday I am getting clues of Acting and Scotland (Eidenburg) from God. I don't understand what it means. I think I know what it all go too.
    5:27 pm
    A lizard decided to owe my bathroom. I guess my bathroom is ITS and I guess I have a pet that takes care itself.
    Sunday, April 13th, 2008
    10:37 pm
    From another game...
    Who: The Doctor (by himself)
    When: Monday night Jan 14 (Can’t drink on Sunday…it’s a sin)
    Where: Local pub for the castle servants
    What: Gossip about little girl singing for the King
    Rating: G

    ( ”Click )
    Thursday, April 10th, 2008
    10:53 pm
    ExileTimeLord (10:12:19 PM): "Rose, welcome to the Wild West," the Doctor standing in the small desert. "North America, I am not sure what state...But, yea, the Wild West! Here we are!"
    mrs doctor crane (10:13:00 PM): Rose stared at the Doctor with a dead-pan gaze. "It looks awfully like a great, big, giant dessert, Doctor."
    ExileTimeLord (10:14:27 PM): He looked around, scratched the back of his head, he spun around, stretched his arms out, "Well, we got sand, sand, sand and more sand!"
    mrs doctor crane (10:15:42 PM): Ever the mature one, Rose scooped some sand in the palm of her hand and playfully tossed it in her plus one's general direction. "I bet!" Came the cheeky reply as a tongue peeked its way between her teeth. "And it looks good on you, too!"
    ExileTimeLord (10:17:16 PM): "Dust sand, a new look yea," he said, ruffled his hair. He spitted sand out. "Taste sandy...very sandy and salty..Not like the sand on a beach...that's high on sodium. But, what you don't like the sand of seas here?"

    mrs doctor crane (10:19:00 PM): Tucking a (fake!) blond strand of hair behind her ear, Rose shrugged. "I dunno? I mean, I don't discriminate agianst sand. Sand is sand." She looked about, the sun's garrish glare making Rose squint her almond eyes; one thing she didn't like, though, was the heat. Oh, she would be prejudice against the heat anyday! "Is something wrong with the sand?"
    ExileTimeLord (10:21:02 PM): He looked down at the sand. "Something wrong?" He asked, and he bent down. He picked a few grinds in his hands. He sniffed it. He licked it. He made a very funny face. He allowed it to slowly fall out of his hand. "Looks, taste, sounds and falls like sand. Why do you ask? Am I missing something?" Is he doing a Nine with the wheel.
    mrs doctor crane (10:23:00 PM): There he went--talking a thousand miles per hour while Rose, who hardly had that much oxygen within her or the gob do complete such a feet, stood dumbfounding and completely bewildered. "Um...well, if ti tastes and looks and feels like sand, then it must be sand?" She shrugged.
    ExileTimeLord (10:23:54 PM): "Though, you said something about the sand...Intuition tells me never look away when a companion mention somethings wrong..."
    ExileTimeLord (10:26:59 PM): "I'm not paranoid, but when you notice something Rose. Most of its something," he winked at her. "But, I say we move on. It soon show itself..I reckon. Lets go," he looked around. He closed his eyes, stuck his hands out. He hummed aloud. He opened one eye, looked at Rose, "My sense direction is not good as Nine...He had sense with gravity better than me you know. It was those blasted big ears!" he spun around. We shall go, "The direction where ya standing and facing...a good scientfic way." He gone over grabbed her hand. "We are off to gold mining"
    mrs doctor crane (10:28:34 PM): Rose let out a loud guffaw. She gladly took his hand in hers, giving it a tight squeeze, as her doe brown eyes danced with mirth. "Hi-ho, it's off for gold we go!" She managed through fits of giggles.
    ExileTimeLord (10:31:46 PM): "Gold fever," the Doctor said, leaning close to Rose. "When it bites it bites...Gold fever is not to be played foolheartly Rose my dear. Its real. Its a fever that turns the body to gold fluid inside the brain...Why it happens? I don't know. Is it alien? I don't know. So many questions so we are to find the answers. But, mind you Rose, its not the same gold fever as in the books. I was assure that...But, this is the SECOND time me here. So, we got to be careful not to run in my other self."
    mrs doctor crane (10:33:26 PM): Rose couldn't stop the flush as he leaned in closer. The nervous giggle that escaped her mouth wasn't intentional--it wasn't even wanted! But she ignored it, for now, and focused on what he was...wait, other self? Well, that could lead to some...circumstances that weren't good, now, wouldn't they? "Right. No you meeting...you."
    ExileTimeLord (10:35:02 PM): "Don't worry you don't know he is," the Doctor said. "But, he shouldn't see you or me...And poof we all away...Don't want that," he said. "Though, this will be a some walk, because right over there I do see a glint of civilization. Do you see it?"
    mrs doctor crane (10:42:36 PM): Rose had to groan. Selfish moment! Still, it wasn't the Doctor's fault she chose high-heels. Not his fault one bit! "Oi!" She exclaimed anyway, giving an eye roll. "Fine. Let's go! If I die because I don't have enough water--you can't drink any for a...long time!" She finnished, lamely.
    Wednesday, March 26th, 2008
    10:41 pm
    ( Donna )
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